Energy Exchange

During the pandemic, I had work to keep me busy, and provided social interactions; nursing co-workers/friends, other health care co-workers, patients, etc. There were people around who you could talk to because we were all going through the same thing together. After my diagnosis of epilepsy in July 2022, I no longer had work to keep me busy, I was far from social; I was miserable and depressed. Overtime, I slowly became better about wanting to spend time with friends and family, but other things like going out for drinks, a party, trying something new, or even going to the gym was out of my comfort zone. My new comfort zone became our tiny, quiet apartment. 

Leaving the apartment was a big deal for a long time. The thought of taking the bus sucked… who am I kidding, actually taking the bus sucked. It was cold, so I hated walking anywhere, and social gatherings were at the bottom of my to-do list. 

Back in December 2022 when I began implementing the 1% better rule into my life, I thought I was doing a heck of a lot better, and to a certain degree I was! Getting up early every morning opposed to sleeping half the day away. Getting dressed as soon as I got out of bed instead of staying in my PJs until noon or later. Spending more time journaling and reading, and less time scrolling TikTok. All steps in the right direction. I was still spending the vast majority of my time, in the tiny, quiet, ‘safe’, apartment. 

Going from being alone a good chunk of the time in the tiny, quiet apartment, back to the noisy, fast pace, brightly lit hospital sounded like a recipe for disaster. Going from 0-100 is never a good idea in my opinion. My therapist encouraged me several times to ‘put myself out there’. Meaning, go do things in the community like volunteering, do some exposure therapy in places that stressed me out (like the hospital), go sit in a coffee shop to be around noise, etc. I had to start taking action now, so going back to work would not feel so overwhelming. 

The end of March I applied for the energy exchange program with Shanti Yoga, once a week for 3 hours. This was a perfect start to get me out of the apartment; something new, but not stressful. I now had the opportunity to take yoga classes during the week, and do you think I took any? It took me 2 weeks before I built up the courage to show up for a class! That one evening yoga class I did show up to, is all it took to put a crack in my outer protective shell. I was hooked! The peaceful energy of the class, feeling welcomed by the teacher, the class itself was rejuvenating. After that first class, I was already excited to come back and do another. 

I now had a Wednesday routine I looked forward to. I woke up early, journaled first thing, did an IHP online lesson then got ready to go to the yoga studio. Once my shift was done, I would go across the street to a coffee shop for a few hours to work on more IHP content.  This was a great start to getting me out of the apartment, and overtime I felt more energized and wanted to get back to the gym more regularly. After all , the gym was once upon a time, my happy place. 

Getting to the gym consistently was not as easy as I thought it would be. Other than my Wednesday routine, I still spent a lot of time at home by myself, therefore I became incredibly good at talking myself out of going to the gym almost daily. I needed something different if I was going to be consistent with exercise. 

The first Saturday of each month, Evolve Fitness offers a drop-in (members and non-members) DJ cardio class, with all proceeds going to charity. I went to a couple and absolutely loved the atmosphere, the hype energy, the equipment to make cardio fun, and the class itself! I really wanted to somehow become part of the amazing Evolve community. I was excited to be given the opportunity to do an energy exchange with Evolve! Once a week for 3 hours, I would volunteer my time in exchange for having access to their classes they offer. Not only was I overjoyed about being able to attend classes, this would also help me break out of my comfort zone, and add even more structure to my week. 

I had a routine, way more structure to my week now. Evolve once a week, Shanti once a week, the IHP online course. Taking yoga classes, and fitness (strength , cardio and spin) classes at Evolve. Two months before doing all of this, I could barley get myself to the gym once a week. This was huge progress in my books!

It didn’t take long before I felt less anxious about going out. I was excited to go to new places and try new things. My yoga practice was and still is consistent (I love practicing inversions any chance I get!) I’ve been able to get to Evolve 2-3 times a week for fitness classes. I have not done a lot of group fitness in the past, but lately I love everything about it! The people, the facility, the instructors, an amazing environment to be in. 

Not even a full week after starting at Evolve, my friend told me about a spin instructor course they were putting on! Was this the Universe telling me to put myself out there again? I think so! I love biking, I love spin classes, but never in a million years did I picture myself as a spin instructor! With an abundance of energy, a positive attitude, and no longer scared to take on a new challenge, I decided to take the course. At the very least, it would be a fun weekend to learn, and spin! 

Absolutely 0 regrets taking the spin instructor course! The instructor was fun, the energy from everyone who took the course was contagious and uplifting to be around. When it came time for each of us to teach a section of a class, everyone was supportive, not to mention everyone crushed their section! I have since completed the course and in a few short weeks will be starting my mentorship journey with spin! 

Shanti and Evolve have helped me break away from the comfort of my apartment. I feel going back to work, which is in the very near future, will no longer feel like going from 0-100, thanks to these opportunities. Every tiny change has been adding up since focusing on my health and well-being; it’s paying off better than I could have imagined. 

Everything happens for a reason. I spoke of this in my last blog post, and how I felt my situation that seemed so detrimental, ended up being one of the best things that could have happened for me. It took a long time, but now when opportunity knocks at the door, I have the energy to not just answer but also pursue it. I am grateful for for Shanti, Evolve, Spin training, IHP (level 1 and 2), and having the time to take care of myself. 

Thank you Shanti Yoga for helping me find my love for yoga, finding peace on my mat when I show up to class, the physical strength, and the spirituality that comes along with the practice. 

Thank you Evolve Fitness, for welcoming me with wide open arms into your studio. For holding me accountable to show up to class, for getting me excited about fitness again and pushing me during class. Thank you for the opportunity to become a spin instructor and hopefully teach at one of the studios in the near future! Thank you for the amazing people within the Evolve community. 

Until next time…

At one time in my life, taking care of myself, putting this much effort into MY personal health and well-being felt selfish. I now realize that is so far from the truth. By taking care of myself, setting boundaries but pushing myself in a healthy manner, has enabled me to be the best version of myself for those around me. I can put my best foot forward. I know when to take a step back to rest and re-set. I have the tools to help myself, the energy and willingness to use these tools to continue to be the best version of myself.

I am embarking on a new adventure, my new normal. Going back to work, becoming a spin instructor, and who knows what else will present itself along the way! I am excited to bring you along on this journey with me. To share how so much negativity has turned so positive.

You would be surprised at how much you can overcome with the right tools, the right supports, and knowing you do not have to manage hardships on your own. Asking for help can be challenging. It does not mean you failed, that you are weak, or less of a person. If anything it is the complete opposite. There is courage, and strength in showing up for yourself, and asking for help. You owe yourself that much. You deserve to be the best version of yourself.